Living in a clean and orderly environment is generally touted as a good thing. This is why for years I have been making futile attempts to accomplish this. This is of course while working, raising children, cooking dinner, making Shabbos and Yom Tov, driving carpool, doing laundry… I’m getting tired just listing all these things, but I think you get the picture. I must say I don’t do all of this on my own. I must give credit where credit is due. My husband takes on a fair share of the responsibilities and my children help a lot too. The problem is that regardless of the manpower that is dedicated to creating a clean and orderly environment, the mess and the clutter always accumulate faster than our little brooms can sweep. Hence, we came up with the brilliant idea of hiring of “the cleaning lady.”
Now, I didn’t invent this idea of hiring cleaning help. I just didn’t realize how hard it would be. I figured it goes like this. You call a few friends, get a few numbers, and someone shows up at your house ready to clean. Boy was I wrong. First of all, people are protective of their cleaning help. It’s not always easy to convince someone that you’re not trying to “steal” their cleaning lady. “Stealing” is the farthest thing from your mind. You’re just trying to avoid breaking your ankle when you wade through all the toys in the living room, which you now have to admit in order to get the phone number. Once you’ve wrangled the number from your so called friend, the rest of the process should run smoothly. Once again, “boy was I wrong.”
Now, I naively thought that having toys strewn on the floor was a valid reason for hiring cleaning help. Although an aura of calm was achieved after the cleaning lady left, she really just created a massive game of hide-and-seek. The problem is that no one in your household knows where anything is. This is not to mention that occasionally your cleaning help will make executive decisions about what to keep and what to throw away. When you come home and your daughter’s half eaten chocolate chip cookie is no longer waiting patiently for her on the kitchen counter, you know you’re in for an afternoon of suffering.
This brings us to pre-cleaning. This is how it works. At about 8:00 the night before, my children and I race around the house picking up and putting away any items we would like to be able to locate the next day after her scheduled departure. Meanwhile my husband sits back with an amused look on his face and asks, “Explain to me again why you’re doing this?” By this time we have all perfected the eye-roll, which he seems to accept as a reasonable response to his question.
Now that you’re pre-cleaning, buying whatever cleaning supplies your cleaning lady prefers, and deferring to her on the matter of what rooms require the most work, you’re sure you can breathe a sigh of relief. What you don’t realize is that in addition to investing money and energy into supposedly making your life easier, you’ve also invested your ego. You don’t realize it but you’ve actually made yourself emotionally vulnerable to your cleaning lady. This realization comes to your attention one fateful day when she informs you that your house is too messy for her to clean anymore. Even if this could possibly make sense in any language you most likely don’t even have a common language that can be used to discuss this. Luckily, there is no reasonable response to this other than to beg, which, thank goodness, is not language specific. Unfortunately, it rarely works. Now, I had actually heard of this happening to one of my friends so I should’ve been prepared. Quite honestly though, I had arrogantly filed this idea in the “spam” folder in my mind since I was convinced that this ultimate form of cleaning service rejection would never happen to me. Once again, and feel free to say it along with me, “Boy was I wrong.”
Now, I really had to come to terms with what could be perceived as a failure to thrive, at least in the cleaning sense. I mean so far, I had failed at employing both the “family cleaning” model and the “cleaning lady” model of maintaining an orderly environment. I could throw up my sponge in dismay, go through the trauma of trying to find new cleaning help or I could “reframe.” This is a psychological term for putting a positive spin on an otherwise depressing situation. I opted for reframing. Drawing on my background in physics (not really), I decided to apply the teachings of Albert Einstein. When criticized about the chaotic state of clutter on his desk Einstein responded, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” By simply substituting the word “house” for the word “desk” I immediately elevated my ego and my mess to a relatively higher state of well-being. I do have to admit, that although this has allowed my bruised ego to heal, my ankle is taking a little longer.
Thanks for your blog, nice to read. Do not stop.